{"title":"Funny Retirement Shirts","description":"\u003cp\u003eFunny retirement shirts land best with people who appreciate a good laugh about leaving the nine-to-five behind. These designs speak to the absurdity of actually having free time, the weird identity crisis of not being defined by your job, and all the unplanned naps that come next. Whether you're retiring yourself or roasting someone else's big day, there's a shirt here that gets it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear these \u003cstrong\u003eretirement shirts\u003c\/strong\u003e at retirement parties, send them as gifts to friends hitting that milestone, or just throw one on because you've earned the right to dress however you want now. Perfect for \u003cstrong\u003efunny retirement shirts for men\u003c\/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong\u003efunny retirement shirts for women\u003c\/strong\u003e alike—every design comes as a unisex t-shirt or hoodie in sizes S–5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLooking for more laughs? Check out our \u003ca href=\"\/collections\/funny-shirts\"\u003efunny shirts\u003c\/a\u003e collection, or if you're in a birthday mood, browse \u003ca href=\"\/collections\/funny-birthday-shirts\"\u003efunny birthday shirts\u003c\/a\u003e and \u003ca href=\"\/collections\/milestone-birthday-shirts\"\u003efunny 50th birthday shirts\u003c\/a\u003e for other big celebrations.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"laugh-out-loud-senior-texting-codes-t-shirt","title":"Laugh-Out-Loud Senior Texting Codes T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eA playful Senior Texting Codes tee listing humorous acronyms made for grandparents and retirees. Perfect for laughs and sparking conversation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, comfy shirt ideal as a retirement or grandparent gift — wear it to family gatherings or give it for a chuckle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy you'll love it\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSenior texting codes list with humorous acronyms — printed sharp and vivid, made to be noticed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePick your style: soft ring-spun cotton \u003cb\u003eT-Shirt\u003c\/b\u003e ($24.99) or cozy fleece \u003cb\u003eHoodie\u003c\/b\u003e ($39.99).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex classic fit that works for everyone — a gift that actually gets worn.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFit \u0026amp; fabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTee \u0026amp; hoodie in sizes S–5XL; runs true to size (size up for a relaxed fit).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eColours: Black. Print on the back, water-based inks that won't crack or peel.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk, tear-away label, double-needle stitched hems.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"cm-size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eT-Shirt\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;text-align:center;font-size:14px\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eShirt Length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eChest Width\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e18 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e29 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e20 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e22 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e31 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e24 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e26 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e33 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e34 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e35 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHoodie\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;text-align:center;font-size:14px\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eShirt Length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eChest Width\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eTolerance\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e27 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e20 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e22 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e29 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e24 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e26 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e31 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e33 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e34 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e34 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"font-size:13px\"\u003eMeasurements are taken with the garment laid flat: \u003cb\u003elength\u003c\/b\u003e from the highest point of the shoulder to the bottom hem, \u003cb\u003echest width\u003c\/b\u003e straight across 1\" below the armpits. Unisex fit — between sizes, size up for a relaxed fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eShipping \u0026amp; returns\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted in the USA and shipped in 2–5 business days.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFree US shipping on orders over $35.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e30-day guarantee: wrong size or print issue — we replace it, no questions asked.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cosmently","offers":[{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ S","offer_id":67608404983908,"sku":"42","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ M","offer_id":67608405016676,"sku":"43","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ L","offer_id":67608405049444,"sku":"44","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ XL","offer_id":67608405082212,"sku":"45","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67608405114980,"sku":"46","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67608405147748,"sku":"47","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":67608405180516,"sku":"48","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":67608405213284,"sku":"49","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ S","offer_id":67608405246052,"sku":"586","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ M","offer_id":67608405278820,"sku":"587","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ L","offer_id":67608405311588,"sku":"588","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ XL","offer_id":67608405344356,"sku":"589","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67608405377124,"sku":"590","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67608405409892,"sku":"591","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":67608405442660,"sku":"592","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":67608405475428,"sku":"593","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0806\/9506\/6724\/files\/1f838e41-fcb0-4709-b790-a21bc87eab36_mockup_tee-studio-black.jpg?v=1790902409"},{"product_id":"get-laughs-work-retirement-age-humor-t-shirt","title":"Get Laughs — Work Retirement-Age Humor T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eA playful typography tee that jokes about working until retirement age — lighthearted office humor for coworkers and casual days at work. Available in comfortable sizes S–XXL. Great gift for birthdays, retirements, or a fun work anniversary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy you'll love it\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ejoke about working until retirement age — printed sharp and vivid, made to be noticed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePick your style: soft ring-spun cotton \u003cb\u003eT-Shirt\u003c\/b\u003e ($24.99) or cozy fleece \u003cb\u003eHoodie\u003c\/b\u003e ($39.99).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex classic fit that works for everyone — a gift that actually gets worn.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFit \u0026amp; fabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTee \u0026amp; hoodie in sizes S–5XL; runs true to size (size up for a relaxed fit).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eColours: Black, White. Print on the front, water-based inks that won't crack or peel.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk, tear-away label, double-needle stitched hems.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"cm-size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eT-Shirt\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;text-align:center;font-size:14px\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eShirt Length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eChest Width\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e18 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e29 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e20 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e22 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e31 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e24 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e26 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e33 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e34 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e35 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHoodie\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;text-align:center;font-size:14px\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eShirt Length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eChest Width\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eTolerance\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e27 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e20 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e22 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e29 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e24 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e26 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e31 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e33 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e34 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e34 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"font-size:13px\"\u003eMeasurements are taken with the garment laid flat: \u003cb\u003elength\u003c\/b\u003e from the highest point of the shoulder to the bottom hem, \u003cb\u003echest width\u003c\/b\u003e straight across 1\" below the armpits. Unisex fit — between sizes, size up for a relaxed fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eShipping \u0026amp; returns\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted in the USA and shipped in 2–5 business days.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFree US shipping on orders over $35.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e30-day guarantee: wrong size or print issue — we replace it, no questions asked.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cosmently","offers":[{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ S","offer_id":67852404981860,"sku":"42","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ M","offer_id":67852405014628,"sku":"43","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ L","offer_id":67852405047396,"sku":"44","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ XL","offer_id":67852405080164,"sku":"45","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67852405112932,"sku":"46","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67852405145700,"sku":"47","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":67852405178468,"sku":"48","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":67852405211236,"sku":"49","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ S","offer_id":67852405244004,"sku":"51","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ M","offer_id":67852405276772,"sku":"52","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ L","offer_id":67852405309540,"sku":"53","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ XL","offer_id":67852405342308,"sku":"54","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ 2XL","offer_id":67852405375076,"sku":"55","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ 3XL","offer_id":67852405407844,"sku":"56","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ 4XL","offer_id":67852405440612,"sku":"57","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ 5XL","offer_id":67852405473380,"sku":"58","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ S","offer_id":67852405506148,"sku":"586","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ M","offer_id":67852405538916,"sku":"587","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ L","offer_id":67852405571684,"sku":"588","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ XL","offer_id":67852405604452,"sku":"589","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67852405637220,"sku":"590","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67852405669988,"sku":"591","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":67852405702756,"sku":"592","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":67852405735524,"sku":"593","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ S","offer_id":67852405768292,"sku":"687","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ M","offer_id":67852405801060,"sku":"688","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ L","offer_id":67852405833828,"sku":"689","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ XL","offer_id":67852405866596,"sku":"690","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ 2XL","offer_id":67852405899364,"sku":"691","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ 3XL","offer_id":67852405932132,"sku":"692","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ 4XL","offer_id":67852405964900,"sku":"693","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ 5XL","offer_id":67852405997668,"sku":"694","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0806\/9506\/6724\/files\/bae8d77d-5bad-4200-93fc-c2fce7312c32_mockup_tee-studio-black.jpg?v=1793010574"},{"product_id":"funny-work-schedule-by-generation-retire-at-67-t-shirt","title":"Funny Work Schedule by Generation — Retire at 67 T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eA tongue-in-cheek typography T-shirt that lays out a humorous generational work schedule — Gen Z through Boomers — with the punchline \"Retire at 67.\" Perfect for retirement parties, coworkers, or anyone who loves generational humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAvailable in multiple colors and sizes, this makes a playful retirement gift or office joke shirt for milestone age celebrations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy you'll love it\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHumorous generational work schedule about retiring at 67 — printed sharp and vivid, made to be noticed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePick your style: soft ring-spun cotton \u003cb\u003eT-Shirt\u003c\/b\u003e ($24.99) or cozy fleece \u003cb\u003eHoodie\u003c\/b\u003e ($39.99).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex classic fit that works for everyone — a gift that actually gets worn.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFit \u0026amp; fabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTee \u0026amp; hoodie in sizes S–5XL; runs true to size (size up for a relaxed fit).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eColours: White. Print on the front, water-based inks that won't crack or peel.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk, tear-away label, double-needle stitched hems.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"cm-size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eT-Shirt\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;text-align:center;font-size:14px\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eShirt Length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eChest Width\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e18 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e29 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e20 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e22 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e31 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e24 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e26 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e33 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e34 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e35 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHoodie\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;text-align:center;font-size:14px\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eShirt Length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eChest Width\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eTolerance\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e27 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e20 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e22 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e29 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e24 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e26 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e31 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e33 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e34 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e34 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"font-size:13px\"\u003eMeasurements are taken with the garment laid flat: \u003cb\u003elength\u003c\/b\u003e from the highest point of the shoulder to the bottom hem, \u003cb\u003echest width\u003c\/b\u003e straight across 1\" below the armpits. Unisex fit — between sizes, size up for a relaxed fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eShipping \u0026amp; returns\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted in the USA and shipped in 2–5 business days.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFree US shipping on orders over $35.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e30-day guarantee: wrong size or print issue — we replace it, no questions asked.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cosmently","offers":[{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ S","offer_id":67930757759076,"sku":"51","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ M","offer_id":67930757791844,"sku":"52","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ L","offer_id":67930757824612,"sku":"53","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ XL","offer_id":67930757857380,"sku":"54","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ 2XL","offer_id":67930757890148,"sku":"55","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ 3XL","offer_id":67930757922916,"sku":"56","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ 4XL","offer_id":67930757955684,"sku":"57","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ 5XL","offer_id":67930757988452,"sku":"58","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ S","offer_id":67930758021220,"sku":"687","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ M","offer_id":67930758053988,"sku":"688","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ L","offer_id":67930758086756,"sku":"689","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ XL","offer_id":67930758119524,"sku":"690","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ 2XL","offer_id":67930758152292,"sku":"691","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ 3XL","offer_id":67930758185060,"sku":"692","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ 4XL","offer_id":67930758217828,"sku":"693","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ 5XL","offer_id":67930758250596,"sku":"694","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0806\/9506\/6724\/files\/bd6a40c7-205a-4b9a-8898-cdc10d52bb9c_mockup_tee-studio-white.jpg?v=1793436238"},{"product_id":"laugh-about-aging-dozing-between-pee-breaks-t-shirt","title":"Laugh About Aging - Dozing Between Pee Breaks T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eA comfy, laugh-ready tee that celebrates the lighter side of getting older. Bold typography reads: 'Getting older: dozing between pee breaks.' Perfect as a birthday or retirement gift, with a relaxed fit for everyday wear. Great for parties, family gatherings, or just a casual chuckle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy you'll love it\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eaging humor about dozing between pee breaks — printed sharp and vivid, made to be noticed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePick your style: soft ring-spun cotton \u003cb\u003eT-Shirt\u003c\/b\u003e ($24.99) or cozy fleece \u003cb\u003eHoodie\u003c\/b\u003e ($39.99).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex classic fit that works for everyone — a gift that actually gets worn.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFit \u0026amp; fabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTee \u0026amp; hoodie in sizes S–5XL; runs true to size (size up for a relaxed fit).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eColours: Black, White. 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in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e18 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e29 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e20 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e22 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e31 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e24 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e26 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e33 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e34 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e35 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid 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#ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e20 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e22 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e29 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e24 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e26 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e31 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e33 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e34 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e34 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"font-size:13px\"\u003eMeasurements are taken with the garment laid flat: \u003cb\u003elength\u003c\/b\u003e from the highest point of the shoulder to the bottom hem, \u003cb\u003echest width\u003c\/b\u003e straight across 1\" below the armpits. Unisex fit — between sizes, size up for a relaxed fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eShipping \u0026amp; returns\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted in the USA and shipped in 2–5 business days.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFree US shipping on orders over $35.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e30-day guarantee: wrong size or print issue — we replace it, no questions asked.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cosmently","offers":[{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ S","offer_id":67931166998628,"sku":"PD-AAZW-TEE-BLK-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ M","offer_id":67931167031396,"sku":"PD-AAZW-TEE-BLK-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ L","offer_id":67931167064164,"sku":"PD-AAZW-TEE-BLK-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ 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5XL","offer_id":67931168014436,"sku":"PD-AAZW-HOOD-WHT-5XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0806\/9506\/6724\/files\/ee67e143-3a59-42a8-83e7-0d7cef33ccf3_mockup_tee-studio-white.jpg?v=1793440368"},{"product_id":"laugh-about-aging-dozing-between-pee-breaks-t-shirt-1","title":"Laugh About Aging - Dozing Between Pee Breaks T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eA comfy, laugh-ready tee that celebrates the lighter side of getting older. Bold typography reads: 'Getting older: dozing between pee breaks.' Perfect as a birthday or retirement gift, with a relaxed fit for everyday wear. Great for parties, family gatherings, or just a casual chuckle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy you'll love it\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eaging humor about dozing between pee breaks — printed sharp and vivid, made to be noticed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePick your style: soft ring-spun cotton \u003cb\u003eT-Shirt\u003c\/b\u003e ($24.99) or cozy fleece \u003cb\u003eHoodie\u003c\/b\u003e ($39.99).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex classic fit that works for everyone — a gift that actually gets worn.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFit \u0026amp; fabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTee \u0026amp; hoodie in sizes S–5XL; runs true to size (size up for a relaxed fit).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eColours: Black. Print on the front, water-based inks that won't crack or peel.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk, tear-away label, double-needle stitched hems.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"cm-size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eT-Shirt\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;text-align:center;font-size:14px\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eShirt Length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eChest Width\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e18 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e29 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e20 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e22 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e31 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e24 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e26 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e33 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e34 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e35 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHoodie\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;text-align:center;font-size:14px\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eShirt Length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eChest Width\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eTolerance\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e27 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e20 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e22 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e29 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e24 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e26 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e31 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e33 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e34 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e34 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"font-size:13px\"\u003eMeasurements are taken with the garment laid flat: \u003cb\u003elength\u003c\/b\u003e from the highest point of the shoulder to the bottom hem, \u003cb\u003echest width\u003c\/b\u003e straight across 1\" below the armpits. Unisex fit — between sizes, size up for a relaxed fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eShipping \u0026amp; returns\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted in the USA and shipped in 2–5 business days.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFree US shipping on orders over $35.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e30-day guarantee: wrong size or print issue — we replace it, no questions asked.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cosmently","offers":[{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ S","offer_id":67937047838820,"sku":"PD-A104-TEE-BLK-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ M","offer_id":67937047871588,"sku":"PD-A104-TEE-BLK-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ L","offer_id":67937047904356,"sku":"PD-A104-TEE-BLK-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ XL","offer_id":67937047937124,"sku":"PD-A104-TEE-BLK-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67937047969892,"sku":"PD-A104-TEE-BLK-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67937048002660,"sku":"PD-A104-TEE-BLK-3XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":67937048035428,"sku":"PD-A104-TEE-BLK-4XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":67937048068196,"sku":"PD-A104-TEE-BLK-5XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ S","offer_id":67937048100964,"sku":"PD-A104-HOOD-BLK-S","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ M","offer_id":67937048133732,"sku":"PD-A104-HOOD-BLK-M","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ L","offer_id":67937048166500,"sku":"PD-A104-HOOD-BLK-L","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ XL","offer_id":67937048199268,"sku":"PD-A104-HOOD-BLK-XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67937048232036,"sku":"PD-A104-HOOD-BLK-2XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67937048264804,"sku":"PD-A104-HOOD-BLK-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":67937048297572,"sku":"PD-A104-HOOD-BLK-4XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":67937048330340,"sku":"PD-A104-HOOD-BLK-5XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0806\/9506\/6724\/files\/ee67e143-3a59-42a8-83e7-0d7cef33ccf3_mockup_tee-studio-white_9a05c54a-dc28-4b66-b03f-b53ce77ef6cc.jpg?v=1793594531"}],"url":"https:\/\/cosmently.com\/collections\/funny-retirement-shirts.oembed","provider":"Cosmently","version":"1.0","type":"link"}