{"product_id":"hilarious-birthday-statement-t-shirt-ive-never-been-this-old-before","title":"Hilarious Birthday Statement T-Shirt - I've Never Been This Old Before","description":"\u003cp\u003eBold, funny typography tee that turns any birthday into a laugh. Clean design reads 'I've Never Been This Old Before' — perfect for milestone parties and casual wear. Great gag gift for friends, family, or coworkers. Comfortable, unisex fit makes it easy to wear on the big day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy you'll love it\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ehumorous age statement in bold text — printed sharp and vivid, made to be noticed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePick your style: soft ring-spun cotton \u003cb\u003eT-Shirt\u003c\/b\u003e ($24.99) or cozy fleece \u003cb\u003eHoodie\u003c\/b\u003e ($39.99).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex classic fit that works for everyone — a gift that actually gets worn.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFit \u0026amp; fabric\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTee \u0026amp; hoodie in sizes S–5XL; runs true to size (size up for a relaxed fit).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eColours: White, Sport Grey, Light Blue, Ash. Print on the back, water-based inks that won't crack or peel.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk, tear-away label, double-needle stitched hems.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"cm-size-guide\"\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eT-Shirt\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;text-align:center;font-size:14px\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eShirt Length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eChest Width\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e18 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e29 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e20 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e22 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e31 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e24 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e26 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e33 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e34 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e35 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHoodie\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;text-align:center;font-size:14px\"\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eShirt Length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eChest Width\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px;background:#f6f6f6\"\u003eTolerance\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e27 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e20 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e22 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e29 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e24 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e26 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e31 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e28 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e30 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e33 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e32 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e5XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e34 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e34 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"border:1px solid #ddd;padding:6px\"\u003e1 in\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"font-size:13px\"\u003eMeasurements are taken with the garment laid flat: \u003cb\u003elength\u003c\/b\u003e from the highest point of the shoulder to the bottom hem, \u003cb\u003echest width\u003c\/b\u003e straight across 1\" below the armpits. Unisex fit — between sizes, size up for a relaxed fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eShipping \u0026amp; returns\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted in the USA and shipped in 2–5 business days.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFree US shipping on orders over $35.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e30-day guarantee: wrong size or print issue — we replace it, no questions asked.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Cosmently","offers":[{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ S","offer_id":67917200752740,"sku":"51","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ M","offer_id":67917200785508,"sku":"52","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ L","offer_id":67917200818276,"sku":"53","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ XL","offer_id":67917200851044,"sku":"54","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ 2XL","offer_id":67917200883812,"sku":"55","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ 3XL","offer_id":67917200916580,"sku":"56","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ 4XL","offer_id":67917200949348,"sku":"57","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ White \/ 5XL","offer_id":67917200982116,"sku":"58","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":67917201014884,"sku":"59","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":67917201047652,"sku":"60","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":67917201080420,"sku":"61","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":67917201113188,"sku":"62","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":67917201145956,"sku":"63","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":67917201178724,"sku":"64","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":67917201211492,"sku":"65","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":67917201244260,"sku":"66","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Light Blue \/ S","offer_id":67917201277028,"sku":"75","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Light Blue \/ M","offer_id":67917201309796,"sku":"76","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Light Blue \/ L","offer_id":67917201342564,"sku":"77","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Light Blue \/ XL","offer_id":67917201375332,"sku":"78","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Light Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":67917201408100,"sku":"79","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Light Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":67917201440868,"sku":"80","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Light Blue \/ 4XL","offer_id":67917201473636,"sku":"81","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Light Blue \/ 5XL","offer_id":67917201506404,"sku":"82","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Ash \/ S","offer_id":67917201539172,"sku":"171","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Ash \/ M","offer_id":67917201571940,"sku":"172","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Ash \/ L","offer_id":67917201604708,"sku":"173","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Ash \/ XL","offer_id":67917201637476,"sku":"174","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Ash \/ 2XL","offer_id":67917201670244,"sku":"175","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Ash \/ 3XL","offer_id":67917201703012,"sku":"176","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Ash \/ 4XL","offer_id":67917201735780,"sku":"177","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"T-Shirt \/ Ash \/ 5XL","offer_id":67917201768548,"sku":"178","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ S","offer_id":67917201801316,"sku":"687","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ M","offer_id":67917201834084,"sku":"688","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ L","offer_id":67917201866852,"sku":"689","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ XL","offer_id":67917201899620,"sku":"690","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ 2XL","offer_id":67917201932388,"sku":"691","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ 3XL","offer_id":67917201965156,"sku":"692","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ 4XL","offer_id":67917201997924,"sku":"693","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ White \/ 5XL","offer_id":67917202030692,"sku":"694","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":67917202063460,"sku":"679","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":67917202096228,"sku":"680","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":67917202128996,"sku":"681","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":67917202161764,"sku":"682","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":67917202194532,"sku":"683","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":67917202227300,"sku":"684","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":67917202260068,"sku":"685","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":67917202292836,"sku":"686","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Light Blue \/ S","offer_id":67917202325604,"sku":"617","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Light Blue \/ M","offer_id":67917202358372,"sku":"618","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Light Blue \/ L","offer_id":67917202391140,"sku":"619","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Light Blue \/ XL","offer_id":67917202423908,"sku":"620","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Light Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":67917202456676,"sku":"621","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Light Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":67917202489444,"sku":"622","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Light Blue \/ 4XL","offer_id":67917202522212,"sku":"623","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Light Blue \/ 5XL","offer_id":67917202554980,"sku":"624","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Ash \/ S","offer_id":67917202587748,"sku":"578","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Ash \/ M","offer_id":67917202620516,"sku":"579","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Ash \/ L","offer_id":67917202653284,"sku":"580","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Ash \/ XL","offer_id":67917202686052,"sku":"581","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Ash \/ 2XL","offer_id":67917202718820,"sku":"582","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Ash \/ 3XL","offer_id":67917202751588,"sku":"583","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Ash \/ 4XL","offer_id":67917202784356,"sku":"584","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hoodie \/ Ash \/ 5XL","offer_id":67917202817124,"sku":"585","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0806\/9506\/6724\/files\/01411af1-7a20-4cc0-ad62-1bf245429b55_mockup_tee-studio-white.jpg?v=1793334408","url":"https:\/\/cosmently.com\/products\/hilarious-birthday-statement-t-shirt-ive-never-been-this-old-before","provider":"Cosmently","version":"1.0","type":"link"}